Not Again!…

Yesterday i had plans to go out for a flick with my pal but i cnacelled it coz did’n feel upto it. Then my sis convinced me to cum with her boyfriend and the same pal of mine n jus hang around at their place(which btw is 45 min far frm our place). On her insisting me soo much i said fine but took a word from her that we’l b back by 12 max, coz i need to wake up at 5(ma office is at 7 am) and she agreed. When we reached their place, her boyfriend was not home yet(busy with wrk r sumthn), we were there for an hour r so till he came.. after another hr it was 12:30 already.. i asked ma sis to make a move, as i have an early day 2mrw.. but she as usual startd with “It dosen’t look good, he’s just come n i’l leave” so after a fight with her we left in the next 20 minutes and i reached home at 2 in the morning..I dont understand when she’s the one not thinking about me, how come i become the unco-operative one. If you want to spend time with your boyfriend then go ahead but u cant screw other peoples time n schedules…

On top of all this this guy(ma sis’ guy) dosen’t even have the courtsey to come along to drop her, leave alone going to drop her by himself. The last staw was wen ma fren reached back to his place after dropping us home, he said that ‘why was she reacting so much, i had work so i got little late’. As if im bothered about him being late r not…to hell with him.. i was worried about my schedule.. so iiritating. nyways i’ll try and never make plans with ma sis n him again..n ma fren .. he listens to all i say n says ‘leave it’..such acare a damn attitute to someone’s concern…horrible..don’t feel like to talking to him either…..

I really don’t know what pulls me into such situations ..n everytime i know it is going to happen..

I always land up saying what i feel at the instant wen n where i  feel it.. not that others don’t feel the same but they decide to not react. n me . always react(which loos like overreact, coz no one else reacts) n declared the unsocial BITCH!..

its so strange that even though i know sumthing will come up that will get me worked up. .  i can’t do anything about it..my temper touches the sky and i have to let everyone know what i feel about it….

So f**%^&% irrritated i am….

I dont know if i’l ever find  someone who can understand why i react(not over react), why these situations bother me… listen to me .. calm me down,,, n tel me wen im wrong n correct my ways….i think theres no one with that kina patience…so im gona continue being miserable, unsocial and unwanted overeacting BITCH!!!!

No shoes without socks….

Its been 6 long and struggling years since i lost my father to a terrible liver disease, years since i heard his voice, since i was scared(only of him) to do anything that he would not approve of, since he pampered me, taught me something new or called me the ‘PILOT in the family. But i know now that i am the pilot he always told i was..

Its strange that with each passing day i get closer to his absence, to his memories and somehow the rock that the entire 1 and half years of his fight for life and ours fight against faith, had made me has finally started to break down. I get emotional easily, choke up, think of the hard days often and with every happy or tuff moment miss him badly.

I mostly remember the things he taught me ..lessons on life, behavior(which he was also not very good at), on how not all people are alike(this was for my mother), you cannot always be brutally honest on others faces(still learning to get that)..and many more…I don’t actually know how much of all this i follow in my life (and there may be things i do that i can’t imagine if he was around) but i follow one thing religiously and its not after he left,  it was even wen he was that i never skipped on it.. and that is . NEVER WEAR YOUR SHOES WITHOUT SOCKS…..i know it seems stupid to write about it all.. but its important to realize what people teach us..n keep it with us.. coz u dun just do the rite thing by following it..  u keep that person in your heart .. ur actions..

I miss him more than ever these days .n i dun know y.. maybe its been long time since i got a good scolding, a little pampering.. and a new lesson to keep for life..

MISS YOU LOADS!