I didn’t get that chance..

The first thing as I reached my office today was check my inbox for the confirmation of my project change, but it wasn’t there. I said to myself ‘Never mind, you might get it by the end of the day’, but somewhere in my mind the thought that ” now it won’t happen” has already entered. And so after 5 minutes I received a mail from my senior(bitch) that someone else has filled in for the requirement and you will continue with the same project. F*** man! Just when I thought it would all change, made plans to put my best foot ahead and start fresh.

I had a feeling that I was to get this chance as I had accepted the place that I am in, accepted that I will have to be here to fulfill my responsibility and no matter how much I hate all this only god will show me the way through this tough time and bring me what I deserve. But here’s what happened to me, a chance to be better, start fresh, prove myself was dangled in front of my eyes, placed the light of hope and joy, shone my eyes with encouragement and then it was taken away.

I don’t know why but I had a gut feeling I won’t get it, not because I don’t deserve but only because I always get what I want the tuff way. I have to look for it, fight for it, struggle while others get it all so easily.

Not that this was my last golden opportunity or anything but I still I’m not feeling good about it. Now I’m still again to report to this bitch and this will go on till December, then in my appraisal form she would not give good feedback and finally i would leave the company. So that’s gonna be my schedule for the following months.

I also thought that maybe this is god’s plan, he wants me to learn working with the worst people fr the longest time, get a pathetic appraisal, feel cheated and then ready to move on. But Please God whatever your plan let there be something better for me next time and don’t show it to me if ts meant for someone else, please.