Don’t be serious in life, be sincere.

Now that’s a thought to think and live. I read it in a novel that stated few of Dalai Lama’s teachings. What we all truly need in today’s time.

 

Hope this thought takes some weight off you serious people.

Starting out a brand new day…

Don’t know when or where or how many times I’ve heard this song, but it seems to be the first thought that comes to my mind every morning and funny as it sounds its actually its the song that rings in my head rather that just the words. And next i have a broad smile and get off the bed to start the ‘New day’.

I’ve realized that simple things make me happy.
Like a nice hug from my mom( doesn’t happy very often);
an honest comment on my blogs( just got one today and okay it was flattering, but hey i even respect other opinions, see my other blog for an example);
a song on the radio that i was searching for from many days;
a happy thougth;
pics of my childhood;
a lazy afternoon chit chatting with my sister;
watching the rain and smiling to myself like an idiot;
dancing;
knowing that one day i will be what i want to be;
even observing others at times.

I observe people a lot, just look at them behaving, reacting, not reacting, trying to be aloof, pretending, smiling, faking a smile, trying to hide themselves , trying to be someone else. I really do observe a lot and maybe it helps me write about so many things and emotions. Maybe that’s what i am, an observant writer, don’t even know if that is a word. But who care if its up to me, then I’m starting out a brand new day .

Me

I need something to cheer me
to make my heart ache less
will some drinking help
no, it only makes me more fat
i thought something i don’t remember anymore
it left behind a scar and nothing more
the face i see doesn’t smile at me
eyes blank
looking for hope
searching so desperately
look around myself
what i need to fix up
my hair, my relationships or my life
its just my heart that dosen’t listen
it needs something
to comfort, to clinge onto
nothing seems to work
im searching and searching
im searching and now i know what i want
what i want is me
true and as just as me
 that smile
those hopes
those star lit eyes
what i need is just to be me
not what i think i need to be
no ’should’ or ‘want to’
just the one i see and recognize
Being me is what makes me

I’m 23 today!!

Yup I’ve been alive for 23 years today. My sweet sis and brother got me some pastries to cut as cake yesterday night. and i was awake till 12:30 coz i had to celebrate and then sleep.

I’m not very excited or jumping around. Somehow I don’t like to make a big deal of it. I mean ok its a birthday, but i don’t want to spend money on treating these useless office people. I’d rather spend on my family.

I took my office cab in the morning and found a bouquet waiting for me, it was from my cab mate, she quite elder to me, is married and has kids and we usually chit chat a lot in cab. It was so sweet to have something unexpectedly. So after i got the bouquet all i thought was how am i going to hide this away in office, coz nobody knows its my birthday. It would make me noticeable and then i would have to treat everyone. It sounds like I’ve started avoiding ‘my birhtday’ all together. Maybe i have. so  i quietly came in and locked the flowers in my desk, how cruel of me,but I’m escaping the over expenditure.

I even don’t feel like meeting up this friend, that i was saying I’m totally feeling disgusted of. I don’t know but this ‘on and of off’  between ‘hating’ and ‘forgiving’,  is making me think as if i need to drop being friends with him at all. He was very excited about my birthday and asked what were my party plans, so i told him i wanted to be with the family and that is true, only that i don’t even feel like seeing his face today. It will only make me feel more disgusted and remind of all what a horrible guy he is. right now i think ‘i hate him’.

Anyways so I’m not going to this office party (not for my birthday of course) we’re having. I would have gone if it weren’t my birthday, but the idea of spending that evening,Friday evening of my birthday, with all those stupid people, whom I’m not even friends with, except for one and she’s not coming either, and few i talk to little bit, but i hardly know these people and i don’t want to be with them today. So I’ll just head back to home after office and maybe go out for dinner with my sweet little family.

I also miss papa today, he always made my birthday so special. Of late I’ve noticed I’ve been missing him a lot, maybe this is a sign that he’s missing me equally. i wish i could talk to him, see himand spend this special day (which dosen’tfeel so special without him) with him.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

Lessons out of Regrets.

Our lives are full of good and bad. just like there is happiness there is sad. There are always two sides of the coin.

I have a good memory and more than in exams or where its needed, it usually is very sharp in terms of life and events. More particularly on mistakes. I know its good to remember your fault so you don’t repeat them. But sometimes keeping them with yourself for so long, turns them into regrets.

I did regret many of my decisions, thought they were the worst days of my life and how much ever i wished i could not get over those regrets. My sharp memory kept track of them and pricked on me with them from time to time.

So why can’t we let go of our mistakes and move on. Part of the reason maybe that you haven’t got into the same situation again, so you can choose the right path this time and know that you have corrected yourself now.

Each regret holds a lesson, but not every mistake a ‘next-time’ option. While i am still struggling with my regrets and trying to loose them, here are few thoughts that might come help when we feel like everything we did was so wrong and there’s no way we could mend it:

1. There’s always a better way to look at things.

2. You are your worst critic,so its not as bad as you think it is.

3. Learning is not always about implementing, it sometimes means keeping patience and knowing that you did learn.

4. Regrets are the negative side to a better you.

5. Regrets only keep you away from a happy you.

6. Mistakes need to be made, it makes you human.

7. Learning the lesson and letting go is what we should think of.

8. Be kind to yourself you deserve it.

9. Don’t think of what happened, think what you can do now.

10. Regret is only one side of the coin, lessons are on the other side.

11. We learn only when we accept what we did, regret is not accepting you fault.

Hope to turn to this page anytime i face my regrets. So, DON”T REGRET IT, JUST LEARN FROM IT!  :)