Changing Beliefs and me

I am a person with beliefs.  Most are by choice, few that I have inherited and many that I have seen around me and they have seeped into me. The inherited beliefs tell me which background, family and culture I come from, the chosen beliefs describe who I am as a person and my perception and nature but the ones that I am surrounded by and that have seeped shows what, I am not sure.

If you have seen something happen, be or work a certain way then you tend to believe that it is the right way, the way that is working right till now and will so in future. So how do new ways come in? What if you want to change that way and bring a new one?

I have been struggling with a few of these beliefs for some time now. And one of the major ones is ‘being slim’. As most of you know by now that I have a few extra inches that surround me and not protect me at all and I have been trying to get rid of it from a long time now (year and half). But here’s the thing, I have seen and heard that to change from the not-in-shape to in-shape you need to work out and take a healthy diet and really work out and I did and it did work for me. I lost some of the inches and looked slimmer than before but never got to being the typical ‘perfect-figure-slim’. And i did try a lot, I workedout like crazy, cut down my diet, gave up on the food I once loved and more than that I  believed I would get there, but i didn’t. I don’t know what went wrong and when. Also one thing always bothered me that is what happened after I  leave all this strenuous workout and diet? will I  get all the lost fat back? To look like what I  want, do I  have to kill myself like this forever? never get to eat what I want and live free? Its not the food it the freedom, freedom to be and live and be happy with me. 

Now after reading ’The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne, I  said this was the perfect way, to think happy thoughts and think that I  was already slim and perfect and I  would get it. Its been 2 months since I’m trying that, i’m not going to the gym, coz when I  go there all my thoughts are about ‘how much more weight and inches I  need to loose’ and that according to ‘The Secret’ will bring more situations where I  have to think of loosing fat. I tell myself everyday that ‘I am a sexy, slim and beautiful person’ and that ‘my waist is 26″ only’ and try to believe it but its really hard. I also eat everything I want and tell myself that ‘I can eat whatever I  want and my waist is still 26″ always’ and then comes doubt.

I’m trying to change these belief that workout is the only way. I want to think different so badly and yet those seeped thoughts are not leaving their roots. I want to change my belief about being in perfect shape. But how?  How do I tell myself that all I  see and hear and have know till now isn’t true and only what i want to believe is.

Its taking too much of me to bring this change and now I’m starting to doubt myself. So I’m trying to change, fighting my beliefs , fighting my doubts and waiting for some results to show. I hope this is worth it and I do get what I want!