Need some inspiration today

I need some inspiration to light up my soul. Something that stays with me like its lighting me up at all times.

 I listen to songs that make me believe in all my dreams. I sing aloud till I understand every word and really feel every word. I do this a couple of times and grow tired. The music starts irritating and the words leave me alone. The inspiration is lost and the feeling gone.

I try to read something that will make me wake up and sit straight. I try. Its not working right now, not for me. 

I need that thing which makes you realize that ‘its you’. That that makes you always be what you want to be and do what you want to do.

I need to believe, I want to believe.

I want to enjoy the cold wind on my cheeks, bring back the hope in my eyes , my heart dancing to the tunes of life and love and to see my dreams coming true. 

Maybe I have been doing ‘what I should’ for too long now, trying to learn how to save taxes like everyone says you should, worrying the hell out of myself about the things that don’t even matter to me, trying to do the ‘right thing’ and ignoring me.

What I need is inside just seems hazy right now. It the superficial that surfaces and is now building layers over me.

I will bring it back and soon. I will not live like dying.

I need me.