How to be just Supportive?

I’ve been facing this problem for sometime now in my life. It happens when you care about a person and they are either following a wrong path, inspite of your advices and warnings, or when they are repeating unproductive and uselesss conversations and repeatedly for a long time.

It so happens that my impulsiveness cannot be calmed and controlled and I mouth every bit of my thought. My sister broke up with her BoyFriend of 5 months and ever since she’s met him all she talks about his him. That was understandable as is obvious, but instead of my reminding her not to get involved so deeply she did and got hurt badly, the guy ditched her for some rich NRI female.

I know it must be hard on her, but now its been months and all she talk is abusing the guy and questions like ‘why did he do this?’. Its not only frustating but intolerable. I want her to feel smart and happy and confident and like she deserves so much better and can get any decent guy she wants. but i end up telling her ‘listen can you talk about something else, coz i can’t take this rubbish anymore’./ She tells me imnot supportive.

Maybe yes im not, but i am in bad times and thats what matters. Im sorry if i cant take peope feeling helpless when they are not and crying over something for soo long that you forget what it actually was, and dying for the guy who made a fool of you right in your face and you let him.

I have been accused of not being supportive before by many of my close friends. But the truth is im trying to be supportive but i just don’t know how to ???

bossy types…

Sometimes you come across the weirdest of people, they might be the best  for others but for you they’re just unwanted and unrequired troublesome creatures.

Its usually the boos types (or trying to be boss types). Now if writing about someone gives them some importance(in my life), then that’s not the case here.

Its all the buggingness that has made me write this. This female who is my senior at work but she likes to say that ‘i report to her'(gaining importance for nothing), has literally been sucking my blood. She’s a meek but arrogant and very very cunning lady. She got to be senior by all wrong means (i hear from office people coz i just joined), thinks she owns the people who work with her but are junior to her.

Here’s the biggest misconception , i don’t report to nobody, i work as a team and we are all teammates, and some are senior with experience to share and teach others and some are new learners with fresh minds and young hearts.

I think she has some inferiority problem, either she’s jealous of me (maybe because I’m better looking) or maybe young(she kina 30+, has a bad dressing sense and no sense of carrying herself), or it could be that she wants to enjoy the domination part.

But lady that’s not how work is done. The funny thing is that with all these wrong illusions and ideas she still gets away with it, coz shes very witty and smart when it comes to work. not over intelligent but managed and quick.(see i know the good things also).

But why would someone be after your life, waiting for you to make a mistake and jump on you, try to make you feel that you are wrong and not behaving well, where as you do nothing not bad to them. Oh ya i know, it because i don’t do shoe licking and i never will. The other people around her are always doing so and if i don;’t she thinks i don’t give her importance.

Its so true ‘Respect cannot be demanded but only commanded’. and I for one(few others also) have no respect for a person who doesn’t know how to command respect. i never try to impress or make personal favors to get the likeliness of seniors or people whom i can benefit from. Its all below my dignity. I can only do my work, do it good and that’s all, co-operate in work and have a good time doing what i do.

I think no matter how hard she tries to pull me down, it will only make my belief in myself stronger, because if she doesn’t want me to grow she’s scared i might out do her and it only shows that even she believes that I’m better than her, both as a person and at work too.

Cant say to her face so I’ll write it down: you unwanted and disgusting person ..you might try to embarrass me, even might try to pull me down, magnify my mistakes and show you rule me, but all this only shows that you are a BITCH , a scared, complexity suffering, inferiority feeling, depressed and dying to get attention BITCH! and I might feel little sad for a while, maybe even get sad but then I’ll wake up to rise above your petty crap and cunningness coz cunning people might get above in the beginning but in the end only honest people win.

(Feel soo good after saying it)

IN and OUT!

Its weird with me. I say i don’t care what people think and say, but I do care when it involves how I look out there. To this world,not that I’m talking of appearance only, but also as a person. i don’t want any1 to think of me as what I’m not. Its not right, I’m kind so they shouldn’t call me anything else.

It funny coz even when it comes to appearance i do care. I dress up or keep my hair a certain way and with to get compliments! like myself being me is not enough. I don;t pretend and thank god i don’t.But i wish they knew me as me. I wish i could be accepted as just me.

Most of this has come to me because of my sister. she has a good taste, in clothes to books to all (except men). she is very choosy and particular but has a bad habit of commenting on others! others who are different, not so exclusive. she does dat to me also. i sometimes really forget what my choice would be coz I’m so scared of her making fun of me. she doesn’t respect difference. but I’m so different than her. she’s a doll, all girlie and pink and me I’m a rebel, like to go for weird dark and funky stuff. but being myself is so difficult with her. so these days im not exactly me and I’m not what she like. I’m stuck at somewhere where I’m not able to express my inner me and on the outside I’m this someone trying so hard not be made fun of.

i want to be me and love myself. but don’t know why i cant do that either.

BORED!!

I was hoping for better things to come my way, for more learning ,challenging ways and work, but all I have right now is something boring, nothing to learn, nonew to look out. Its this project that i’m working on right now, its old and nothing to do. And the worst(or good in a wierd way) is that i’m th only one on it, no other team mates. Oh..i want to learn and grow, maybe this teaches me patience but thats not adding to my resume.

Im not so career oriented as i sound, but i get bored if i have no work and if you know its gona be like that for sometime now. I don’t want to loose interest and feel like its and obligation. i want to enjoy and be happy about it. have work and enjoy! Not too much to ask, is it?

Return…

Hello wonderfull mind freeing space. I’m back after a break! had some work, got busy, was stuc on other things and didn’t have time to think.

And now that i do have time to think i need to write it down, before i clog my brain with anything and everything. Sounds like an addiction, but it isn’t. Just some peace of mind that it brings to me.

hurrah!