IN and OUT!

Its weird with me. I say i don’t care what people think and say, but I do care when it involves how I look out there. To this world,not that I’m talking of appearance only, but also as a person. i don’t want any1 to think of me as what I’m not. Its not right, I’m kind so they shouldn’t call me anything else.

It funny coz even when it comes to appearance i do care. I dress up or keep my hair a certain way and with to get compliments! like myself being me is not enough. I don;t pretend and thank god i don’t.But i wish they knew me as me. I wish i could be accepted as just me.

Most of this has come to me because of my sister. she has a good taste, in clothes to books to all (except men). she is very choosy and particular but has a bad habit of commenting on others! others who are different, not so exclusive. she does dat to me also. i sometimes really forget what my choice would be coz I’m so scared of her making fun of me. she doesn’t respect difference. but I’m so different than her. she’s a doll, all girlie and pink and me I’m a rebel, like to go for weird dark and funky stuff. but being myself is so difficult with her. so these days im not exactly me and I’m not what she like. I’m stuck at somewhere where I’m not able to express my inner me and on the outside I’m this someone trying so hard not be made fun of.

i want to be me and love myself. but don’t know why i cant do that either.